


Scarred

by shelby21



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Complete, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Torture, One Shot, Psychological Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:05:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelby21/pseuds/shelby21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity gets kidnapped and Oliver believes that she is dead. Warning: contains mentions of violence including torture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scarred

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't a very happy story, not fluff by any means, it has a happy ending though, so don't worry, I'm not that evil. This story was interesting to write because the whole experience highlights Felicity's strength and loyalty. It was also hard to write because Felicity is Oliver's one bright spot and her kidnapping changes that aspect of their relationship in a way. Anyways, enjoy!

  **Felicity POV**

As the heavy rain poured down, I attempted to hurry back to the building for shelter. When I left the coffee shop it had only been drizzling but then it’s like there was an ocean pouring down from the dark skies. Finally, I was a few steps from the door when an arm suddenly grabbed my waist but before I scream, a hand found my mouth and a sharp prick in my neck made me collapse against them, two unfamiliar voices in my ear as everything went black.

I awoke in a plain room with a TV and two doors. One was closed and the other was open, revealing a small bathroom. There were no windows and I would bet my tablet that the door in front of me was locked. As I stood up to get a sense of the room, I realized that I wasn’t in the same clothes from earlier. It was nice to be dry but the thought of a stranger changing me was disturbing. Hopefully Oliver would get here soon, if he even knew that she was missing. Seeing the remote, Felicity turned on the TV and was greeted with a news channel. The time clock in the bottom corner read 2:34, which meant that I had been missing for over four hours. The news looked usual, nothing stood out which meant that no one knew I was missing. How could they not?

I muted the TV but kept it on to keep track of time. About an hour later, a loud buzz sounded through the room and the door opened. A man in a disturbing mask walked in followed by a guard with a very large gun in his hands.

“Ms. Smoak, you’re awake.” The man’s voice was clearly distorted.

“What am I doing here?” I asked, staying were I was on the bed to not show any fear.

“It’s come to my attention that you are involved with the vigilante.” The voice answered and she held back the shiver at the thoughts of what this man might be capable of.

“The Arrow.” I corrected. Oliver wasn’t some vigilante, he was a hero, at least in my eyes. I suddenly realized that the frames around my eyes weren’t my own. They had changed my glasses too.

“Where are my glasses?” I asked wondering what possible reason the bad guy would want my glasses, the ones with the secret microchip inside to help the boys find me.

“We didn’t want you to have anything on you that might be tracked. Also, I have a little plan. You see we have the body of a blonde girl in a warehouse across town. She has your glasses, your clothes, your phone, everything. So the Hood tracks your cellphone and comes to the warehouse, except I have cameras everywhere, so I hit my little button here,” the man showed a little remote, “and then your lookalike blows up. He thinks your dead...if he survives himself. The point is that he needs you to help him do the work that he does.”

“Well, why not just kill me then?” I needed to understand why I was more valuable alive.

“I don’t like to kill.” That’s surprising.

‘What about my lookalike?”

“Body stolen from the morgue.” He answered easily.

“So what, you’re just going to keep me here forever?”

“Yes, until you either tell us who he is or until you forget who you are.” His words sent a shiver through me. Would they torture me? The man left and she was alone again. Suddenly the channel changed to a warehouse, the huge TV casted the surveillance from several different cameras. My eyes searched each view for him, praying that he would be safe. A long time passed before he appeared and the TV focused on that camera. He was only a few feet away when the loud sound of the bomb burst from the TV and the windows shattered sending Oliver dressed as the Arrow on his back. After a minute or so passed, he meandered inside, dodging flames as a new camera followed his path. He stopped suddenly and ran towards a body. He fell to his knees in front of it and the volume of the TV suddenly increased to show his pained sobs.

“Felicity, I’m so sorry.” He cried as he stayed next to the charred body. It was quite disgusting. I focused on him though, the TV wouldn’t turn off and the distorter for his voice made every word sound so unlike Oliver. This wasn’t fair. She didn’t want to see this.

 

“Are you ready to tell us, Felicity?” The man asked, holding a tray of food as he walked inside. It had been about a day and they had taken away the TV leaving me to my own thoughts and no way to track time. My stomach growled but I wouldn’t give in. Oliver had trusted me with his secret, I had to keep it. 

“No.” I replied and the man left with a scoff that sounded too strange behind the distorted voice. At least they gave me water. A long amount of time passed and eventually they gave me small amounts of food because they had to keep me alive. That’s when the real torture started. At first they used psychological torture. They showed the video of Oliver and the explosion over and over again but that only strengthened my resolve. Next they would turn off the lights and leave me in the dark for a while before turning them on. When I still kept quiet, they used noises that made me want to claw my ears off. They would yell at me for hours and hours. Sometimes they woke me up repeatedly in the middle of the night.

Still, I was a smart woman and I knew that I couldn’t break to them. Oliver needed me to be strong. I had no idea how much time passed but luckily they let me change into fresh clothes and shower every once in a while. Personally, I thought that was stupid because that would be a great form of torture for me. Still I wasn’t fed much though and enough time passed that the clothes became looser on me. 

Maybe a few weeks had passed now. The man came in perhaps once a day if I was cataloguing time right and asked if I was ready to tell him yet. Each time I refused. Then he got angry and left but one day, he got much angrier.

“That’s it, I’ve given you weeks, now you’re really going to suffer. I don’t have time to waste!” That’s when the physical torture began. They blindfolded me and exposed me to a new horror everyday. First they stuck me in a freezer for a while, the next time it was underwater repeatedly. After that was burning me a few times on my back. Then they leave long slices on my hips and my chest. I focused on Oliver though, thought about how he was strong and he had faced torture and I would have scars like him. I could be strong like him because he needed me to be. Eventually, I lost track of the things they did to me, it became a mix of psychological and physical torture. I screamed and cried but I never said his name.

One day everything changed. No one came in, not with food or water and eventually a long time passed. I was so thirsty. The thought of dying of hunger or dehydration was scary but it didn’t really matter because what would be the point of enduring all that torture just to say it was Oliver? I had lived through so much and now at least if they were killing me slowly then it was death and a release from this hell. The man came in after I had accepted the fate.

“Tell us or you’ll starve.” He stated, tossing me a bottle of water.

“No.” I replied, drinking as much water as I could before he could take it. He didn’t. He left and they turned off the lights but every time I fell asleep, they woke me up. Eventually I just didn’t sleep. They came in a while later and took me to be tortured again. As they inflicted their hell upon me, I closed my eyes and thought of Oliver because this was the end and I just wanted to think of his smiles and the way he made me feel. 

They brought me back to my room and I resumed my thoughts of Oliver. An unmeasurable amount of time passed before the lights came on and interrupted my thoughts. There was shouting from the hall accompanied by a high-pitched ringing. The buzzer for the door sounded and there stood Sara dressed at the Black Canary.

“Felicity.” She stated and I stood running to hug her. I didn’t even care if this was a hallucination.

“Come on, we don’t have much time.” I tried to hurry but my body was so weak from the hunger and thirst. Somehow, I made it outside. The night air assaulted me and Sara kept holding me up as we made it to a car. She laid me down on the backseat and drove away. 

“Is this is a dream?” I questioned in a hoarse voice. Sara handed me a bottle of water.

“No. The man who was keeping you there was someone that I was tracking to take down. I was gathering information on him when I noticed he was always going to a warehouse. Then yesterday, I saw them take you into a big room and torture you. This time, I had my father on the way and I broke you out. They would’ve killed you if they saw the cops.”

“I doubt that. They could’ve killed me before.”

“You could testify against them.” She offered and the car stopped. She got out of the drivers seat and took a bag out of the trunk and got in the back with me. She quickly changed and offered me some clothes. They were quiet loose but I’d rather be in them than the clothes from my captors.

“Where should I take you?”

“How long has it been?” I asked, trying to sit up. Sara turned to meet my eyes.

“About three months.” She answered and I felt the weight of it. Three months, which meant that while people had probably grieved my loss still but my apartment, my car, my life was probably gone.

“Let’s just get some drive-thru and going wherever you’re staying.”

“I’m staying with Oliver.” She informed and my mind reeled at the statement. Oliver who had kept her quiet, Oliver who haunted her dreams, Oliver who had supposedly sobbed over her dead body.

“I don’t know about that.” I answered. I had no idea what I looked like or even who I really was at this point. Sara nodded before returning to the driver’s seat and pulling back onto the road. She stopped for food and ordered everything I asked for. I could barely eat one burger though. I drank two more bottles of water as we ate in the parking lot.

“Would it be okay if I take you to the hospital? They can look you over.” Sara kept her voice soft and I looked out the window. It made sense, they could make sure I was brought back to health. Plus, I didn’t really have anywhere to go.

“I guess. Just don’t tell anyone.” Sara nodded and started driving to Starling City General. I stared out the window at the sights in front of me. The lights in the city and the familiar buildings. Then we arrived and Sara handed me a baseball cap from the bag and pulled up the hood on her sweatshirt that I was wearing. She guided me to the elevators and checked me in, though I have no idea what she said.

We waited a while and I ate some of the leftover food before a nurse came to get me. I insisted Sara follow.

“What happened? You don’t look like you have a broken arm.” The nurse stated as I stood.

“I was being held captive for three months. I figured maybe I should get checked out.” I answered as we entered a private room. The nurse looked at me horrified.

“Where are the police?”

“She was just rescued and they let me take her. I’m her sister, Mary. The police are dealing with a lot of arrests from the whole thing.” Sarah lied quickly. I almost believed her but I’m sure with my mental state that was more than possible. The nurse nodded.

“Okay, three months, huh? How about we start with a physical exam?” I nodded and she asked me to strip down. Sara and the nurse gasped as they noticed all the marks. The nurse began to make notes on a chart and took my vitals.

“Okay, let’s weigh you.” The nurse stated. 

“Don’t tell me.” I stated and the nurse nodded. I stepped on and looked at the ceiling as she recorded the weight. It had been three months and I didn’t want to know just how much weight I lost. I don’t know if I can ever look in a mirror again. The nurse had me get dressed in a hospital gown and informed that she would be right back. They brought me to a recovery room one floor up and Sara sat beside the bed as a new nurse set me up to an IV drip.

“Can I get you anything?”

“No, has my family been called?” The new nurse shook her head.

“I’m going to do it now. They just got ahold of your records.”

“Don’t. Please.” I needed to gather my thoughts before I saw anyone, especially my parents. Sara sighed as the woman left, closing the door behind her.

“What do you want to do? I can go pick up some magazines or a book.”

“I just want to sleep. You don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to.”

“It’s fine, I’ll just call Ollie and let him know that I won’t be back soon. I’ll be right back, okay?” I nodded and Sara stood to leave.

 

**Sara POV**

As I left Felicity’s room, I headed to the nearest bathroom and stared into the mirror. She was covered in scars and she wasn’t at all the girl I had met months ago. She had been through so much and as someone who could relate, I felt for her, deeply. I pulled out my phone and called Ollie.

“Hello?” He asked in his usual dry tone. Things had been rough since her ‘death’ and he didn’t take it well at all. Digg said he threw himself into CEO and Arrow work.

“I’m not going to be back tonight.”

“How’s the mission? Do you need help?” I kept a tight hold on my emotions and pushed the image of Felicity’s scarred chest and back from my mind.

“Everything is fine, I just...I’m helping a friend.”

“Okay. Call me if you need me.” I replied with a quick goodbye and hung up the phone before exiting to go back to Felicity’s room. She looked somewhat peaceful in her sleep. The bruise on her face and the ones on her arms brought back the scars though. I turned the TV on and put it on mute. I wanted to watch the news for the arrests of the men that hurt my friend. A knock came on the door a little while later and I stood to answer it rather than call out and risk waking up Felicity. However, I didn’t expect to see my father on the other side though. He stood in uniform with a grim expression. I stepped out in the hall and closed the door behind me.

“What happened to her?” He asked.

“Why are you here?” I asked, no one but myself was supposed to know.

“We got a call from a nurse about a victim of abuse. Once I heard it was Felicity, I volunteered to come. The few men that knew about the explosion were baffled because the body was confirmed as hers. However, there wasn’t really anything to test.” I nodded, remembering when she found out about the explosion. Ollie was a wreck and I was heartbroken at the news of the harsh death.

“They kidnapped her and tortured her for three months. That’s all I know. I broke in and got her out after I saw the man I was following in a room with her as they tortured her. She’s been through a lot.” My father pulled me in for a hug.

“So have you.” He answered and I nodded.

“Wait, are you talking about Reynolds? You’re the informant that called that in?” I nodded. I called the police before going in for the rescue and they arrived just as I pulled away.

“Is she sleeping now?” He asked.

“Yeah, should I call you when she wakes up?”

“No, I’ll be in the waiting room. I was heading home from my shift so I can stay.” I nodded and waved before dipping back into the room. A short while later, another knock sounded on the door. As I pulled it open, I gasped seeing Oliver behind my father.

“I told him she was asleep but he doesn’t like the word no.” I nodded and stepped out into the hall, blocking Oliver from the door.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He nearly shouted at her.

“She asked me to keep it quiet. How did you know?”

“Your father called me when he heard.” I shot a long look at my father. 

“Let me see her.” Ollie nearly begged.

“Later. She’s sleeping, she needs to rest.”

“What happened?” He asked, staring at the door like he could see her through the solid wood.

“She was kidnapped and...” I trailed off, unsure if I should tell Ollie. He wouldn’t take the news lightly and telling my father was one thing. He was here to gather Felicity’s story.

“And?” Ollie asked, impatient with this whole ordeal.

“It’s for her to tell you. She wants some space. It’s been three months of hell for her, she needs to get her houghts together before she can move forward with this.”

“It’s been three months of hell for me too. No one gave me space when I got back from five years of hell.” He tried to push past her again.

“Exactly why you should give it to her.” I stated and glared up at him, willing him to go wait rather than keep trying to break into the room. Finally, with a heavy sigh, he headed down the hallway. My father whispered a sorry before following him. Opening the door, I made my way back to the chair and drifted into a light sleep. A scream woke me up and I was standing, ready for attack but the only thing that alarmed me as I took in my surroundings was Felicity bent over crying.

“It’s okay, you’re safe. I’m here.” I placed my hand on her shoulder but she quickly pushed my hand away with fear in her eyes. The nurse came running in and asked me to step back as she began to sooth Felicity. I noticed Oliver standing out of her view, looking at me with pain in his eyes.

“You in the hospital, you’re safe, no one can hurt you here. Okay? How about something to calm you?” She asked, reaching out a hand which Felicity took after a moment and the nurse squeezed the hand.

“Okay.” Felicity stated. The nurse disappeared for a few minutes before returning. Felicity turned to me as the nurse put the needle in and left. Felicity reached out for me.

“I’m sorry, I was scared.” I walked to her and took her hand.

“I understand. Just relax.”

“Sara?” Oliver called from the door. Felicity turned at the sound. I rolled my eyes, he didn’t get that Felicity needed some space.

“Is that...” Felicity trailed off as she met my eyes with a slight look of anger

“The nurse in the ER called the cops and my dad called him. I didn’t know.” Felicity stared at me for a moment before accepting the answer.

“You can come in.” She stated softly and Oliver didn’t hesitate to make his way inside, tears in his eyes upon seeing her.

“Felicity.” He spoke with a strained voice. He reached out for her but her hand grabbed mine. He looked hurt and drew his hand back.

“It’s still...new.” She whispered to him and he nodded.

“What happened?” He asked and she shut her eyes.

“I can’t tell you that. You can’t know.” She spoke, her eyes still closed. 

“Why not?”

“Because it’s too hard to say and it’s not your fault.” Her words confused me, how would it be Oliver’s fault. He just looked guilty.

“They did it because of me?” He asked, reading between the lines.

“Not you.” She replied, still not meeting his eyes.

“The Arrow.” He sighed and Felicity made no sound to deny it. That’s why he would think it was his fault, because they took her to get to him.

“Let’s let her rest.” I offered as I noticed Felicity looking tired as the medication set in. I took Ollie by the arm and guided him outside and back to my dad. I took a seat between the two of them.

“Is she okay?” My dad asked and I nodded.

“What happened to her? You have to tell me. Please.”

“She told you no. It’s not my place.” I answered. I knew how important trust was when it felt like there was none left in the world. 

 

A few days later she was released from the hospital with the promise of monitoring at home and checkups every week for the next month. Ollie and I convinced her to come to the mansion. Her apartment was gone and her parents had taken all her things. Felicity’s parents had tried to fight and take her back with them but Felicity told them she would stay at the mansion. Ollie was happy with the news. Since she woke up a few hours after their reunion, he was constantly at her side and she didn’t seem to mind as much. He didn’t touch her and he didn’t push for answers. 

 

**Oliver POV**

It killed me to read the chart at the bottom of Felicity’s bed when Sara had gone home to change. Felicity had been asleep for a short while and the temptation was too great. There were notes of scars, bruises, and malnutrition. Connected with the nightmares, I knew that she had been tortured. These men had tortured her. Over the past day, she hasn’t spoken too much but it was obvious that there was a present fear. She avoided touch, especially if it was done without asking for permission. It hurt to know that it was my fault that she was so broken and scarred. I just prayed that she would let me in. Sara and I were the only people that could relate to her experiences and after three months without her, I needed Felicity back. I needed her smiles and her reassurances that I wasn’t a monster. 

“Oliver!” Felicity yelled in her sleep, thrashing in the sheets. Quickly, I put the chart back and took her hand in mine.

“It’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe.” The words kept spilling from my lips in a desperate attempt to calm her down. Eventually it seemed to work until she sat up sobbing uncontrollably. 

“It’s okay, I’m here.” I whisper, her hand still in mine.

“Oliver?” She looks up at me and I can see just how haunted her expression in. 

“Yes, it’s me.” She nods and tears are still trailing down her face so I release her hand and wipe away the evidence of her pain. I wish that I could just take it all away from her, she deserves so much better than what happened to her.

“I’m sorry.” I declare and she meets my eyes.

“For what?”

“For not protecting you and for not being able to find you. For believing that you were dead. Mainly for exposing you to all this.” In this moment, I hate myself, truly hate myself. I couldn’t protect her like I promised and she was hurt, emotionally, mentally, and physically hurt because I was too blind to see that she had no reason to be amongst all the evils in my life. Because of me she lost her innocence and her purity. Now she was as broken as I was.

“Oliver, it’s not your fault.”

“It is...” I trailed off, trying to reign in my feelings.

“No, it’s my life, my choice. I chose to stay and I don’t regret it. Someday it will be okay again.” I stood and went to the window, unable to accept her words because I knew first hand that it didn’t get much better. Felicity was my only bright spot in the darkness. Who would she have?

“Can you please just let it go?” She asked after a long moment of silence. I couldn’t answer her.

“Oliver, I survived, okay?”

“Not unscathed.” I spat back, hating the thought of her scarred as much as I was.

“That’s okay. You have scars, Sara has scars, and now I do. So what? I’m alive and the only reason that I’m still sane is because of...” She suddenly cut herself off and I turned, needing to know what she was going to say.

“Because of what?”

“You.” She drops her eyes and turns to the door, a familiar blush coloring her bruised face. I go to her, sitting in the chair by the bed and taking her hand in mine. I wasn’t sure what to say but for once, words didn’t matter because she was right, she was here and alive. Plus, she wasn’t flinching away from me anymore.

“I’ve thought of you everyday.” I tell her when minutes have passed of her staring at the door.

“Me too.” She states quietly as she turns her head back. Her eyes don’t meet mine yet. The nurse knocks at the door and checks Felicity’s bandages as I stare out the window, both in respect and because I don’t want to see the scars yet.

 

They kept her there for a few more days and Sara and I managed to convince Felicity to come to the mansion. 

 

**Felicity POV**

After all I had gone through, I didn’t want to lose Oliver just yet, even if I couldn’t exactly explain that to him. My parents were upset but I had to stay in Starling City, especially because I was afraid to be without Oliver, Sara, or Digg. My first week at the mansion had been spent mostly in my private suite next to Oliver’s room. Then, I began to explore some of the rooms since Oliver was away at the office and Sara was normally in the library reading or in the private gym working out. Still, I couldn’t find it in me to venture out of the mansion just yet. It felt safe and far from the world that I was taken from. 

 

The heat licked at my skin as I jolted awake in my bed. I could feel the sweat everywhere and it took me a long moment to register that the deep cuts that I could feel on my abdomen were just distant memories. Then I noticed Oliver standing next to the bed, his bare chest just as scarred as mine must be, not that I had looked. 

“Are you okay?” He asks quietly, not moving.

“Yes, it was just a nightmare.” I offer, avoiding the fact that I am very far from okay.

“Those are the worst. When I first came back, I could barely sleep because the fear was always so much more intense in my dreams. It felt like everything was amplified when my mind constructed it at night.” I nodded, not pointing out that Oliver had just shared one of his secrets with me. He never spoke of the island, except for a few very rare occurrences. 

“Can you stay?” I ask as he turns to leave. I watch his shoulders tense slightly before he turns with a light smile playing at his lips and moves to sit beside me. A comfortable silence settles between us and I focus on the heat radiating from his skin and the light scent of him beside me as I close my eyes. He lays down beside me and I follow the motion even though I know that the last thing I want to do is sleep. The general exhaustion that I feel doesn’t help me avoid the nightmares though.

“Sleep, I’ll be here.” I nod against the pillow and slowly seek out his hand beside me, wrapping my hand over his. It doesn’t take him long to intertwine our fingers and I pretend for a moment that we are back to four months earlier where my biggest concerns were Oliver’s safety and my love for him. 

The next morning, I awake to a tight hold around my waist and the panic settles in as I try to fight the hold, tears forming as the sheets and the hold on me keep me from escaping and then I burst out of the bed, gasping in terror before I remember that I’m okay. However, my distraught isn’t lost on Oliver who is suddenly awake and confused as he stares at me.

“I’m sorry.” He supplies after an instant, realizing what had just happened.

“It’s not your fault, stop apologizing, _please_.” He nods, hearing the begging tone in my voice. A few deep breaths later, I sit back on the bed and focus on my heartbeat and my breaths as I did when they would try to torture me with all the lights and sounds. It helps, somewhat. Oliver doesn’t move much other than sitting up fully. 

“Does it ever get easier?” I question, needing to know if I will always wake up disoriented. Needing to know if the memories at least become a little less vivid.

“A little, talking helps even though it’s difficult. You can tell me anything, you know that right?” I turn to face him and the conviction in his voice matches the emotion in his eyes. He means it but I can’t tell him everything. He can’t know that they wanted his name because he’d call me stupid for putting him first. So I reach for his hand and give it a soft squeeze.

“I know but I’m not ready.” I lie, hoping that maybe that will placate him and maybe he will wait for me to initiate the conversation next time even though I know he’s too stubborn for that and I know that I will never be able to tell him about the torture. It would be too hard and he would only blame himself.

 

Over the next two weeks, we formed this kind of habit. I’d be too afraid to sleep or too startled to fall back asleep. Sometimes he would be too awake or he’d have a nightmare. So we began to seek the other out, sleeping beside one another for a feeling of a safety and comfort. When I had first seen Oliver, I wasn’t sure that I would be able to be so close to someone. After the first night and my panic attack, I figured that it would always happen but the second night, when I sought him out after a nightmare, I woke up to the familiar scent of Oliver and I wasn’t afraid when I felt his arm around me and heard his heart beneath my ear. 

Finally, the sleep and nutrition began to help and I shoved back the memories and still closed my eyes as I took a shower, holding in the tears as my hands ran the soap over my marred skin. Sara made me weigh myself every week but I wouldn’t look, her small nods of approval assured me that I was healing, at least physically. 

“I need to go back to work.” I declare on my fifth Sunday at the mansion. Oliver and Sara meet my eyes from across the table and glance at each other.

“Are you sure?” Oliver asks and I nod.

“You haven’t even been outside of the mansion though.” Sara insists. I smile at her, grateful for a caring friend.

“Then let’s go out today. I need to get back to normal. Plus, I have been aching to do some computer work. I may or may not have been playing with my new laptop when I claimed to be napping...” I trail off, hoping that the joking tone might ease their hesitations.

“Fine, but no Arrow work, not yet.” Oliver insists and I send him a dark glare but he only raises an eyebrow.

“Fine, next week.” I counter and his lips twitch just enough for me to know that he won’t push me to stay away. Then his expression darkens.

“It’s what got you in this mess.”

“Oliver, you promised.” I remind and he sighs.

“Technically, you begged and I didn’t disagree.” I roll my eyes and stand now that I’m finished with breakfast.

“Where to?” Sara asks, mimicking my movement.

“Shopping, just a little. I am in need of some work clothes. Though, I am appreciative of Thea’s efforts.” I glance down at the expensive jeans and airy blouse that I’m wearing. Thea had made sure that I had plenty of clothes to choose from when I came to the mansion. 

“Then, afterward we can go to Foundry.” I offer. Oliver narrows his eyes at me.

“I just want to check on my computers.” I state and he smiles this time with a soft shake of his head. Then, surprisingly he nods.

“When do you want to resume your position?”

“EA? Really? I want my IT job.” Oliver keeps a straight face.

“No, I need you safe. When?” He brushes past my statement and I groan because I know that it will ease my mind as much as his to have him right there beside me. 

“Tomorrow.” I retort because two can play his game, he inhales and nods sharply.

“Fine but I need to set Jack up with a new position then and you will have to just observe for a few days or so because he knows the entire schedule and you are just getting back.” I smile, realizing that Oliver and I have gotten much better at compromising. Normally I just yell at him and he almost yells back, wanting to get his way rather than grant me a victory. He smiles in return and reaches out as I pass him, his hand settling in mine. Sara walks in front of us to the front door and a driver comes with a car not long after. 

 

**Oliver POV**

Within a week, Felicity is reciting my schedule for the next two weeks by heart in a desperate attempt to prove herself ready. I smile at her as I lay beside her in her bed. Somehow I had managed to get her to silently agree to sleep beside me every night. It was wonderful if I ignored the fact that it was all prompted by a nightmare from her three months of torture because of my secret identity. And doing that was so easy. 

I reach out and take her hand in mine, still thanking fate for giving her back to me even if I was stupid enough to not keep her close enough four months before. I learned my lesson though, both of my lessons actually. One, Felicity was safer beside me, and two, I wouldn’t keep her at arms length and deny my feelings just so she could be safer and refer back to lesson one. She seemed to be a little more at ease, especially when she was with me. I was happy that she found some solace with Sara but I wasn’t going to lie that it didn’t make me happy that she found more solace in my presence. It was getting late so I leaned over and switched off the light before reaching out to pull Felicity to me. She didn’t protest as she settled beside me. 

 

I found Jack a job the next day and made sure that he was well-accommodated. Felicity sat at her desk and turned to smile at me through the glass wall. My girl was finally where she was supposed to be...close. Except the seemingly calm demeanor at the office didn’t last past a few days. 

Felicity hadn’t returned back to her desk after going to the ladies room and I worried with the all-too familiar feeling that something was wrong. She didn’t normally take this long. I headed to the bathroom and found Isabel and Felicity across from each other. A mix of rage and fear was present on Felicity’s face as Isabel was speaking to her.

“What’s going on here?” I demanded as I stepped between them, my hand reaching out to find Felicity’s behind my back. Isabel glared at me.

“Your assistant screwed up the paperwork for the Bennett account. They are pissed. Why the hell did you hire her back? She clearly isn’t cut out for this job. I don’t have time to waste.” Felicity flinched against me before emerging from behind me. The fear was gone as a eery expression settled on her features.

“Go to hell.” She states, quickly making her way to her office. 

“She was tortured for three months, you bitch.” I leer at Isabel before following Felicity. How dare Isabel just humiliate her and hurt her! When I reach the office, Felicity is pulling on her coat.

“Don’t. Felicity, it’s fine. Don’t give her the satisfaction.” I state, stepping closer to her, trying to calm her down. Tears were close to falling and I could see that she was on the edge.

“Maybe I need to take a break. I didn’t have time to waste. I know that she doesn’t understand but she doesn’t care either.” Suddenly she pulls her blouse from her skirt, revealing her scars for the first time. I hold in my reaction. One hand holds the blouse as she points to one scar with her index finger.

“The man told me he didn’t have time waste before he cut this into me. I wish that I never have to hear those words again because all I can think is how much I want to take the knife this time and show them just a percentage of my pain.” She drops the blouse and I step forward and embrace her as she finally falls apart. Digg comes in a little later and takes Felicity home. Once she is safely in the elevators, I walk to Isabel’s office. She stares at my blankly as I make my way inside.

“I will fix the problem myself but if I ever catch you speaking to her, about anything, ever again, I swear you will regret ever being born. Do I make myself clear?” I speak slowly, letting each word sink in. She stands.

“I don’t take threats very well.”

“I don’t give a shit. Don’t speak to her.” I walk out, knowing with much more satisfaction than before that her name is on my father’s list and at some point, she will get what’s coming for her. I head to the office and call Bennett myself. He isn’t nearly as upset as Isabel portrayed. In fact, after my explanation, he insists that the problem is not an issue at all. He has copies of the contracts and a simple typo doesn’t in any way interfere with their partnership. 

“I just wanted to double check, I’m sorry if the call caused any tension in the office. Ms. Rochev is certainly not someone to cross. I commend you for having to be her partner.” I smile, glad that some people in the business world believe in him and have souls. After my last meeting, I head to the mansion and find Felicity in her room. Sara is beside her and based on the red rings around Felicity’s eyes, I can tell that she has been crying a lot. Sara directs me outside.

“I’ll kill Rochev if she talks to her again.” She proclaims.

“Has she said anything?”

“A little but I’m sworn to secrecy. The only thing I will say is that she is more shaken up about showing you her scars than Isabel’s comment. She worries that you are going to blame yourself and Ollie, she’s right, it’s not your fault. No one could have known that she would be tortured.” I let Sara’s words sink in for a moment but it doesn’t do much to ease my guilt. It was my job to protect her, to find her and I failed. Within an unconvincing nod, I retreat into the room and lay beside Felicity, pulling her to me. I push the hair from her face and kiss her forehead, wishing once more that her pain could be mine.

“Oliver, why are you still here?” She asks, pushing away from me slightly.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t they disgust you?” She questions, not meeting my eyes.

“Who?” I press, wishing that she would just tell me what she is thinking.

“Not who, what. My scars.” I internally sigh, Felicity is more worried that I will be disgusted than I will blame myself more.

“Felicity, I have plenty of scars myself. Its just skin, you are still beautiful and strong. A little bit of scar tissue doesn’t change how I see you.”

“It’s a lot of scar tissue.”

“Felicity, we both have scars. I don’t think either of us would be justified in being disgusted by each other’s.” She nods and wipes away a lone tear.

“I haven’t looked yet. I’m afraid that it’s going to make everything more real. That I’ll see myself differently. I can barely shower even if I close my eyes. How will I ever be able to look down?”

“I’m not sure. It bothered me at first, I hated that other people could see them. Thea caught me pulling on a shirt once and it was like her eyes burned my skin. I felt so weak even though I was physically strong.”

“I’m not you, though. I’m not strong.”

“You didn’t break after three months of torture. You kept yourself alive and you are still sane. That’s pretty strong to me.” She nods once and looks up at me.

“I didn’t break. I couldn’t, it was horrible but I had to be strong.” I sense that there is something else she wants to say but I don’t push because I know that she needs to say things on her own terms. 

 

**Felicity POV**

“You didn’t break after three months of torture. You kept yourself alive and you are still sane. That’s pretty strong to me.” She nods once and looks up at me.

“I didn’t break. I couldn’t, it was horrible but I had to be strong.” _For you_ , I think to myself but I can’t ever tell Oliver that part. It’s my secret to bear. He tightens his hold on my slightly and sighs against my shoulder as he ducks his head to my neck. I relax into him, relishing in the fact that at least for now, he is here in my arms and I’m in his.

“Will you ever tell me why?” He asks, ruining the moment. I try to push away but he doesn’t release his grip on me.

“No.” I answer truthfully and he nods, the hurt clear on his face and it kills me because here he is, unmasked and now I’m the one who has to be closed off. I reach up and hold his face in my hands.

“It’s not your fault, I just don’t want you to know. You have enough to worry about. I’m fine, I’m safe...You’re here.” I whisper, trying to find the words that will ease him but they don’t seem to fully sink in. He closes his eyes and I become too aware of our proximity and his hand is burning through my shirt where it rests against my back. The moment that his lips press to my cheek, I suck in a sharp breath, practically tasting his scent on my tongue. 

“I’m not leaving.” He responds and stays laying beside me. I push away the thoughts that boil to the front of my mind, that this isn’t normal, that he was never so close and so open because I know that everything has changed and I don’t want to tell myself that it’s because he cares because how could he? 

 

The next morning, I wake up in Oliver’s tight hold and he smiles as he stirs beneath me.

“Good morning.” He whispers as he nestles into my neck. I bite my lip as his scruff tickles my skin and eventually the giggle bursts from my lips and he chuckles at the sound. I feel his chest below me vibrate with the sound.

“Are you ticklish?” He teases, his fingers lightly skimming over my exposed hip from the way the shirt shifted up in my sleep. I shake my head.

“Not fair, Mr. Queen.” He resumes his path and then his fingers brush over a scar, his face not showing any disgust and the memories rush back. I push up and gather my breath as the visions of knives and blood flood my mind. He stays where he is in fear of scaring me with his touch.

“Did I hurt you?” He asks and I let out a harsh laugh because it’s not even possible. He stares at me and I finally meet his eyes.

“No, I just forgot.” I explain and stand, heading into the bathroom to shower. Today, I would go to work and ignore Isabel because I had faced worse evils than her. The devil himself had smiled as he inflicted multiple tortures upon me. Oliver is gone when I walk out of the bathroom to the closet and I quickly dress before heading to Sara’s room. She is asleep in her bed but I know that she will wake up soon for breakfast anyways so I climb onto her bed and fall against the pillows next to her. She tenses as she wakes up before glaring at me. 

“What’s up blondie?” She questions, sitting up. I cringe at her and Thea’s nickname for me. It’s so distasteful. It is better than when they call her ‘Felly’ though. 

“I don’t know that to think.” I confide and she turns her head to look at me.

“About what?” She questions and I sigh before answering.

“Oliver.” I whisper and she smirks. 

 

**Sara POV**

I grew excited at the thought of Felicity asking about Oliver. He had confessed his feelings for her one dark night after her ‘death’ and I knew that it was only a matter of time before the two would get together.

“What about him?” I question, needing to know exactly what had happened to spark this very intriguing conversation.

“He wants to know why but I can’t tell him.” I sink a little at the words, so this isn’t about a romance. Damn it.

“What ‘why’?” I attempt to dig for more. Felicity seems to think I can read her mind sometimes.

“Why they tortured me.” She answers and I feel my body tense in preparation for the big revelation but she doesn’t offer anything else.

“Tell me and I’ll decide if he should know or not.” I offer, hoping that she will take the bait. I know that Oliver wants to know and hell, I want to know. Felicity knew that she could trust me, even if it was difficult to keep her secrets from Oliver, I owed that to her. She needed someone to vent to.

“I’m not sure if I should.” She states and I sit up straighter.

“You can tell me. I won’t say anything.” Felicity stares back at me for a long moment before she leans in close to my ear.

“They wanted to know the name of the Arrow.” She whispers and I keep my reaction in check. She endured three months of torture just to keep his secret? Those monsters continued to torture that long for a _name_. I feel the anger course through me.

“Sara, don’t.” She begs and I close my eyes in an attempt to control my reactions.

“Don’t tell him.” I command her and she nods.

“I know.” She responds and stands, leaving the room. I get up and run my fingers through my hair as I follow her down the hall to the grand staircase. Thea isn’t awake yet but Oliver is already at the table eating as we both sit down. He smiles at Felicity and meets my eyes. Felicity stays silent through breakfast, offering mere gestures in response to Oliver’s questions. 

 

Another month passes before Felicity goes into the Foundry. She has been adjusting well to QC and Oliver seems to be more relaxed. Thus, he finally “allowed” her to return to Arrow work, even though she has been doing most of her previous work from the Mansion. Felicity has told me a few more details when she wakes up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. Oliver voices his hurt but I remind him that he is her comfort and she only confides in me because she doesn’t want to hurt him.

I’m watching TV in my room when she enters, closing the door behind her and taking her spot next to me on the bed. I hit the pause button on the remote and give her my full attention.

“Lay it on me.” I speak, as she bites her lip and I wonder briefly what is causing this fit of nervousness.

“Why is Oliver so...touchy towards me?” I almost laugh at her question because she must be blind but I know better than to laugh, even if the sentence contains the words Oliver and touchy.

“He likes you.” I reply and she shakes her head.

“That can’t be true though. I’m just his friend, his IT expert, his Girl Friday...but I’m not his love interest.” She says the words with such conviction that I almost believe them.

“No, he told me how he feels about you. Plus, bosses don’t sleep in the same bed as their Girl Fridays slash IT experts slash friends. You like him, he likes you. Case closed.” She still doesn’t seem convinced.

“He is just trying to comfort me, that’s all. Otherwise he would have made a move already.” I’m not sure why Felicity asks my opinion if she is just going to refute everything I say.

“Felicity, he doesn’t want to push you away. He’s scared that if he makes a move that you’ll reject him and leave.” I insist, recalling his words from a month ago as he stressed over how it was hard to control himself just to make sure he didn’t push the fragile girl too far. She stares up at me and contemplates the words.

“Are you sure?” She asks and I smile at her because she has these small moments were she is just Felicity, not the Felicity that tries so hard to keep everything inside and put on her brave face.

“I swear. In fact, you should just make a move.” I suggest and she looks at me with doubt.

“Do it, you’re this big strong girl, surely initiating one tiny kiss isn’t so scary.” I taunt because Felicity makes a huge deal over treating her like she isn’t some porcelain doll whenever she trains with anyone. I see my words work as she twists her mouth and narrows her eyes.

“Fine.” She stands and I follow her out of the room. She walks down to Oliver’s room and opens the door, only to shut it in my face. Damn it, that’s not even fair. 

 

**Felicity POV**

Oliver was taking a nap after his intense training earlier today. It had been a stormy Saturday and I had been contemplating over the whole Oliver issue for a while now. Being forced to stay inside due to the insane storm raging outside with the man in question had been difficult. He didn’t wake up even after I shut the door in Sara’s face. I quietly made my way over to the bed and debated waking him up before getting closer. Sometimes he got defensive but other times he was aware that it was me. 

“Oliver.” I called out, he didn’t stir awake at first, so I repeated his name a few times and he opened his eyes and settled on mine. His hand reached out and I took it, letting him guide me to him. I laid beside him with my heart racing at the thought of what I was about to do. Damn Sara for challenging me like this. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, sensing my distress.

“Nothing.” I answer as I lean forward and capture his lips in mine. It’s true, nothing is wrong now. Things have been fine at QC and the Foundry and I’m finally kissing Oliver. What could possibly be wrong? His hands move to my hips and shift me under him as he smiles against my lips. His tongue teases my lips and I open them, letting him in. My tongue tastes his and the kiss is soft and slow. His hands stay on my hips and I wish I could just stay here forever. He pulls back first, pressing a soft kiss to my lips before staring down at me, grinning like the cat that got the canary.

“I love you.” He whispers and I smile as I try to push back the tears because this was never supposed to happen. 

“I love you.” I repeat and he smiles, pulling me closer to kiss me again. 

 

Oliver POV

Things had been getting better since the first day at the office and I could see Felicity’s gradual ease with her life again. I was by her side the whole day from the office to the Foundry, never letting her out of my sight or Digg’s. She still wouldn’t tell me too many details of the torture or her feelings. I waited patiently for her to be okay again. She didn’t need me declaring my love for her as she was still stitching herself together. 

Sara was the middle man. Felicity would tell Sara about the torture and I would complain that she wouldn’t tell me about it. Sara also let me talk about Felicity and how hard it was to not be able to have her be mine. 

Then one day, Felicity woke me from my nap and just kissed me. It was better than I had imagined and finally, she was mine. She loved me and she was here in my arms. 

“Oliver?” She asks, her breath skimming against my neck.

“Yes?” I ask, running my hand up and down her spine from where it rests beneath her shirt.

“You kept me sane. When they were hurting me, I just closed my eyes and thought of you.” She whispers and I barely hear it since she pressed into my neck. I stay quiet because I’m not sure what to say or if I should say anything. I don’t want her to close up again. I want to know because I need to understand why she didn’t just break. What did they even want to know from her?

“I thought of you everyday.” I remind her, thinking of our conversation in the hospital a few days before her discharge. She nods.

“They showed the video of you finding that girl’s body a lot. It was hard to watch because I wasn’t sure that I would ever see you again and I knew that you would think I was dead and it was hard to have hope after that.” I stroked her hair as she spoke softly.

“Then they tried to scare me into talking, they would turn off the lights and play loud sounds. They didn’t feed me much either. I was so weak when they started to hurt me. I’m not sure I can even remember all the things that they did to me.” I can feel her tears against my skin and I hold myself together because I want her to keep trusting me. She stops talking though.

“That’s all I can tell you. Maybe for now, maybe for ever. Is that okay?” She questions, finally meeting my eyes. I nod even though it’s hard to accept that I might never know the whole truth about her. Since she came to the Mansion, I had tried to tell her things but I understood that it was hard. I still worried that she would se me as a monster or that the stories would be too much. She listened though and comforted me. 

“I just don’t want you to be hurt because it’s not a happy story. It was painful and terrifying and you can’t know what they did because you would see me as damaged and you’d probably kill the men. I want to. I’ve never wanted to kill anyone in my life but sometimes I would imagine torturing them back.” I swallow hard and nod because I understand. I wanted to fight back on the island and sometimes I did. Once I had brutally killed that man who hit Shado, what would I do if I met the men who carved into Felicity’s skin. 

 

Time passed and Felicity didn’t bring up the torture often. She never offered any more details and some days I could almost forget that she had been abused so sadistically. Other days, she would try to joke about it but she normally would end up crying and I would try not to cry with her as she sobbed into me. The first time she saw her own scars was when she stepped out of my shower and stared into the mirror with a broken expression. She knew where each scar was and I had seen every inch of perfect and marred flesh on her body. Her back was covered in scars and burns. Her chest was a mix of smooth ivory skin and pink lines marks. I stepped behind her and pulled her against my chest as I pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

“You are beautiful.” I reminded her, meeting her haunted eyes in the mirror. She glanced down at the scars once more before turning into me.

“So are you.” Her fingers traced over my chest, her fingers tracing loving trails over my own marks. Her lips came down and kissed the spot where my mother had shot me the night I ended up in her car. 

“I love you.” I whispered and she met my eyes again.

“I love you, too.” She replied but I could tell she was still in pain from the sight. She had done so much to avoid ever seeing them and I wished that she would believe me because scars or not, she was beautiful and strong. The only disgusting part of them was that someone had hurt her but that wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t something that I held against her. 

 

**Sara POV**

After more than a year since her return, Felicity was finally something that I could consider better. She hadn’t turned into an assassin or a vigilante and personally, I was proud. Eventually, she even accepted her scars. Although, it wasn’t like the three of us were accepting any invitations to pool parties. I had no idea if Felicity ever told Oliver much about the torture because he didn’t ask me anything. I’m sure that if he knew the why, he would’ve demanded that we pay a visit to Iron Heights and kill the men responsible.

Much to my satisfaction, the couple remained strong and for the first time since I was shipwrecked, I felt a constant contentment with my life. I had friends and everyone was safe, usually. Felicity could land a few punches on the three biggest badasses in Starling City, so we worried a little less, even though Digg and I were under very strict orders to never let Felicity be alone. 

 

**Thea POV**

“Do you still know trendy places to propose?” Oliver asked, appearing in my room suddenly.

 

The END

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think?


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